Tuesday, October 6, 2009

this one felt very real

Tonight, after Aaron went to bed, I played this song over and over...
O Fortuna

It helped me to remember.
This song played the length of my dream last night.

I was standing on a wide, partially frozen river. It was snowing, and the wind was bitterly cold against my face and extremities. I wasn't totally aware of myself, but I was shivering, and wanted badly to find something to cover my feet from the ice. I could see that the banks of the river on either side were very far away from me, and I could not decide which way to cross. I couldn't even remember why I was there in the first place, so the confusion soon lead to feelings of panic. I walked for what seemed like an eternity, toward what seemed to be the closest point to me. By the end of the trek, I was falling down exhausted, and half freezing to death. It was at this point that I actually saw myself, but it wasn't my face. It was the face of a stranger. I was shabbily dressed, beat up and sickly looking, and much older. The music during the dream had risen from the panic of figuring out that I am on a frozen wasteland, to the long journey across the cold expanse. Finally here, as I am falling down in an epic struggle of life and death, at what seemed to be a snow covered river bank only a moment ago, the music rises again to a deafening level of grandness. I use my frozen arms to pull myself to the edge, only to discover that I am lying facing down over the edge of an eternal abyss in every direction, except the land of frozen waste I just came from.

I didn't wake from this dream,
but I remembered it vividly when I did wake.
It's been a long time since I had a dream like that.

Oh, and finding this song with clips from Death Note was just a bonus btw.
I didn't do that part on purpose.

I'm off to go curl up in the bed next to my man,
and hopefully have more peaceful dreams tonight.

3 comments:

  1. Reading this makes me want to paint. :) You always have the best dreams for inspiration.

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  2. ha ha well I'm glad I could inspire you! They don't happen like this very often, but when they do, it's hard to forget how it happened or how it felt.

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  3. oh and I want to see it when its done!

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Please remember, I can kill you with the power of my mind, so be nice!