The maniacal ravings of an ever transforming optimist
HEY I just wanna say...
I do not own many of the things I share and/or talk about on this website. If I do own something, my ego will actually force me to make that clear to you,
If and when I post images of my handmade jewelry here, just know that these are crappy webcam pics of them. Sharper and prettier images of the products will be posted to the River Rock Jewelry site later, when the item is ready for sale!
You should get the total Jenny experience by listening to the music video at the top of each post while reading my ramblings.
And do not let my eccentric, vulgar music throw you off, I'm a actually a well-adjusted, happy person!
Every day, all day and night, this song is in the back of my head. Ever since the first time I heard it, I have swelled up with emotion. Each and every time I hear it, I just want to cry. That it is the kind of effect her voice has on me. Coupled with the strings and orchestra and choir in the back, I feel overwhelmed by sadness, and anger, and also hope and faith. It has all of my favorite things in it. A powerful yet beautiful female voice, strings, piano, a synthesizer, a swelling choir, a sweeping march, even 80's sound effects (lol)...the ups and downs of the song give me goosebumps each time. The lyrics even speak to me in a personal way that I am not willing to share with you. :p
How is it that this song, or more to the point, this type of music can do this to me?
Truth be told, I am FITS over the release of this movie. The day cannot get here fast enough for me. It's one of my favorite fairy tales, and this dark turn they have put on it speaks to me much like the dark fantasies of my childhood. I have purposely NOT watched a lot of the release videos and behind the scenes stuff cause I want it to all be new and exciting when I finally do see it. I might just crawl my hermit ass out of my door and actually GO to a movie theater and see it. I rarely do that, even for something I might like. We shall see if it lives up to my expectations.
What have I been doing lately you ask? Well, as usual, I have been making jewelry. NO you cannot see it yet, I'm not ready. But when you do, you'll like it, I promise. I also have been branching even further out into recycled accessories. It has been very fulfilling for me to come up with these wearable items that otherwise would have been thrown away and wasted.
I have tried to stay away from my grandmother this week (who is in the hospital with pneumonia) because I have had what FELT like strep, but ended up being a bad head cold. That's the last thing she needs is my sick ass coming in there and making her worse. I do worry about her a lot. She seemed so weak and just tired of trying. It scares me, but I try and think instead about how she makes me laugh, and how her smile lights up her whole face. How no matter how lonely I feel, she still talks to me (even though she doesn't like to talk) and makes me feel good about everything.
I love you Grandmother.
Now that I am fitfully crying, I think it's time to go for now.
p.s. Here's another song that pulls at my heart, and reminds me of things that can't be undone.
I am slowly catching up with people, places, things, and websites (including this one!) that I have let go for a while. It is hard to stay focused on more that one major project at a time, and when I try, all of the small things really suffer.
In fact, Haley and I met up with Thomas and Ashley at Ryu Sushi Bar on Summer for dinner tonight. I love eating there so that was a bonus, but I hadn't seen either of them for like 2 years at least so that was awesome. I told them that we should do it again really soon, and I meant it. I also told Ashley to come by anytime, even with the baby. She wanted to look at some jewelry, so we can just sit in the floor with Hendrix and make her something, and close the door so we don't have to worry about Yaya with the baby. ( I know that Yaya wouldn't hurt him, but I don't wanna chance an accident)
I miss my friends. A LOT. I miss having people to chat with on the regular. I got so used to living in a house with a bunch of people, that now that we live out on our own I feel lonely all the time. Haley is not into the crafting, and lives far out in Tipton county that she doesn't come over very much. Even on the weekends. Aaron is not interested in crafting much either. OR art for that matter really. It is also hard to meet new people. My mother suggested trying to invite over people from the Metal Museum, but I'm terrified they will get over here and realize that I'm not as creative as they are. My ego can't take the bruising right now. I wish my mother lived here, or I lived in Florida near her. We could sit and make stuff all day. Sew something, make pottery, string some beads, make something good to eat and just talk.
Anyways, I need another drink. Call me or something. I miss hearing your voice.