I think I'm coming down

I am slowly catching up with people, places, things, and websites (including this one!) that I have let go for a while. It is hard to stay focused on more that one major project at a time, and when I try, all of the small things really suffer.

In fact, Haley and I met up with Thomas and Ashley at Ryu Sushi Bar on Summer for dinner tonight. I love eating there so that was a bonus, but I hadn't seen either of them for like 2 years at least so that was awesome. I told them that we should do it again really soon, and I meant it. I also told Ashley to come by anytime, even with the baby. She wanted to look at some jewelry, so we can just sit in the floor with Hendrix and make her something, and close the door so we don't have to worry about Yaya with the baby. ( I know that Yaya wouldn't hurt him, but I don't wanna chance an accident)

I miss my friends. A LOT. I miss having people to chat with on the regular. I got so used to living in a house with a bunch of people, that now that we live out on our own I feel lonely all the time. Haley is not into the crafting, and lives far out in Tipton county that she doesn't come over very much. Even on the weekends. Aaron is not interested in crafting much either. OR art for that matter really. It is also hard to meet new people. My mother suggested trying to invite over people from the Metal Museum, but I'm terrified they will get over here and realize that I'm not as creative as they are. My ego can't take the bruising right now. I wish my mother lived here, or I lived in Florida near her. We could sit and make stuff all day. Sew something, make pottery, string some beads, make something good to eat and just talk.

Anyways, I need another drink. Call me or something. I miss hearing your voice.

<3

the inevitabilies in life

(I love FLCL, and I love this song)

Well I guess it was inevitable that I was gonna go to the hospital. Yesterday my leg got much worse, and I ended up in the emergency room instead of going to work. It was HUGE by the time I got there, and the pressure that had built up in my leg from the infection was KILLING me. I tried to go to work first though, and had so much trouble getting into and out of my car I called my mother to reinforce what I was already thinking, which was get to the E.R. NOW. I walked in the back door of work, breathing hard and wincing the whole way, and I told Morgan that I needed to go, that I HAD to go. He said it was fine, that they'd be ok without me there, but he never once looked me in the eyes, or even in my general direction. Honestly, I think he hates me, and at that moment I really didn't care. My whole body was screaming for relief. I had a 100.6 fever, and in frustration at the situation, I cried all of the way back into the car. I cried so hard that I had to pull over because I couldn't see at one point.

I went to Methodist north by my house, because I was afraid that I might not be able to get home easily once they had worked on me. I didn't have to wait long, there was barely anyone in the ER. That was a big relief. It was pretty embarrassing to sit the way had to sit to not feel constant piercing pain. They had to get me all checked in and once I was settled in my little gown and stopped crying long enough for them to drill me about my medical history and such, Aaron showed up and gave me a hand to squeeze while they cut my leg open and got the infection out. It was a lot of fluid: blood and a pus that smelled absolutely horrible. I was so embarrassed about the smell and the sight of the infection, and the nurse made me feel so much better about it. He didn't say that it was common or anything because it really isn't common at all, but he did tell me that this wasn't the first abscess he'd seen and that it could have been much worse if I had waited much longer to come in and get it taken care of. He stressed to me that since I am prone to this sort of thing, that I should never wait to come in and get checked out. They told me that it was probably just bacterial but that I should be very careful because it could easily turn septic and kill me. Because it's the ER and not an actual doctor's office, they couldn't tell me much about the why of it, but they did ask me to get a regular doctor and go to have  blood work done to be sure that the infection isn't still somewhere else in my body, steadily infecting me from time to time. They gave me oxycodone for pain, and doxycycline for an antibiotic, and sent me home.

The whole experience was exhausting, so I took my pills and passed slap out for a few hours. When I woke up the swelling had gone down quite a bit, and today it's even smaller, but it still hurts like hell. Aaron is my rock, and I couldn't have done it so bravely without him. I thank God that I have him in my life. He took the whole day off from work to take care of me. I love that man so much.

Today I feel better, but I am still not able to move freely without pain. I limped all night at work during my short 4 hour shift, and ended up taking a half of a pain pill just to be able to do my job. Thank God it was a night shift because I was slightly loopy from that little pill. Carrie and Arionna really made me feel better about it. They helped me all night, and even did a lot of things for me.

I love you all and I want to thank you
for being there for me when I needed you.

I'm off to watch something to relax and then I'm off to bed.

These little pills are kicking my butt.

<3

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

To all of those whom I love, I hope you have a happy, safe and wonderful New Year! I shall be sitting in my computer room, drinking myself under the desk. This is last era of Dan K., IF you know what I mean. I have to change it all; make it clean so thatI can have the life I want. Life has changed so much for me already, just in the last 2 years. Some things are the same, and many more are not. I am madly in love with a man that drives me stark raving mad, and I love every moment of it. My demon dog Yaya is thankfully happy and healthy. MY relationship with my family is so much better than in the past. Things dont change much there, but my ability to handle it has changed dramatically. My father is the most sober than he's ever been, and close to going to rehab to get even more help. School is amazing. I've learned so much, and have so much more to learn. I hope that all of the work Ive been putting into this pays off for us.

Things aren't all great. Aunt Barbara isn't doing so well right now. The whole cancer ordeal has really gotten to her health, and she just seems defeated already. I cry every time I talk about this. I can't imagine her not being there. Grandmother either. She is like the rock of our family, and I cant even think about what it'll be like. I don't want to deal with it, but I know I have to face it just like everything else.

Overall, this has been one of the best years I can remember. And we are still well on our way up.

Currently playing on JennyRadio:
(for all you naysayers!)