the inevitabilies in life

(I love FLCL, and I love this song)

Well I guess it was inevitable that I was gonna go to the hospital. Yesterday my leg got much worse, and I ended up in the emergency room instead of going to work. It was HUGE by the time I got there, and the pressure that had built up in my leg from the infection was KILLING me. I tried to go to work first though, and had so much trouble getting into and out of my car I called my mother to reinforce what I was already thinking, which was get to the E.R. NOW. I walked in the back door of work, breathing hard and wincing the whole way, and I told Morgan that I needed to go, that I HAD to go. He said it was fine, that they'd be ok without me there, but he never once looked me in the eyes, or even in my general direction. Honestly, I think he hates me, and at that moment I really didn't care. My whole body was screaming for relief. I had a 100.6 fever, and in frustration at the situation, I cried all of the way back into the car. I cried so hard that I had to pull over because I couldn't see at one point.

I went to Methodist north by my house, because I was afraid that I might not be able to get home easily once they had worked on me. I didn't have to wait long, there was barely anyone in the ER. That was a big relief. It was pretty embarrassing to sit the way had to sit to not feel constant piercing pain. They had to get me all checked in and once I was settled in my little gown and stopped crying long enough for them to drill me about my medical history and such, Aaron showed up and gave me a hand to squeeze while they cut my leg open and got the infection out. It was a lot of fluid: blood and a pus that smelled absolutely horrible. I was so embarrassed about the smell and the sight of the infection, and the nurse made me feel so much better about it. He didn't say that it was common or anything because it really isn't common at all, but he did tell me that this wasn't the first abscess he'd seen and that it could have been much worse if I had waited much longer to come in and get it taken care of. He stressed to me that since I am prone to this sort of thing, that I should never wait to come in and get checked out. They told me that it was probably just bacterial but that I should be very careful because it could easily turn septic and kill me. Because it's the ER and not an actual doctor's office, they couldn't tell me much about the why of it, but they did ask me to get a regular doctor and go to have  blood work done to be sure that the infection isn't still somewhere else in my body, steadily infecting me from time to time. They gave me oxycodone for pain, and doxycycline for an antibiotic, and sent me home.

The whole experience was exhausting, so I took my pills and passed slap out for a few hours. When I woke up the swelling had gone down quite a bit, and today it's even smaller, but it still hurts like hell. Aaron is my rock, and I couldn't have done it so bravely without him. I thank God that I have him in my life. He took the whole day off from work to take care of me. I love that man so much.

Today I feel better, but I am still not able to move freely without pain. I limped all night at work during my short 4 hour shift, and ended up taking a half of a pain pill just to be able to do my job. Thank God it was a night shift because I was slightly loopy from that little pill. Carrie and Arionna really made me feel better about it. They helped me all night, and even did a lot of things for me.

I love you all and I want to thank you
for being there for me when I needed you.

I'm off to watch something to relax and then I'm off to bed.

These little pills are kicking my butt.

<3

Deja vu... again?!?!?

I took this picture earlier today, and within just a few hours a small area on the inside of my left leg began to hurt pretty badly. It seems like a blood vessel popped inside my leg and has left a pocket there that feels like it is full of blood or something. This has actually happened to me before, about 3 years ago. It turned out to be an infection inside my right leg. We had to excise it and drain it. It was so painful, and almost my entire right thigh was purple by the time we made it to the hospital. I'm hoping that this is not the same thing, but it's starting to look like it is. Its inflamed and hot to the touch. The tissue around it is swollen and tender. I have to open in the morning at work, and I think if this gets much worse I'll try to get into the doctor. The pain is already so bad it's hard to walk without limping to avoid pain. I also have a fever of 99.4, which is usually a sure sign of some sort of infection. WHY does this keep happening to me? It's starting to worry me that there is more infection somewhere else in my body that is spreading to other places and settling in. I've always been pretty prone to infection, but it's not like I wounded myself there and it got infected. I just woke up and it was there.I'm worried about the money too. We simply cannot afford another hospital visit right now.

To top it all off, I had nightmare after nightmare last night. I can't remember everything about each of them, but I woke up a lot of times, and woke up this morning feeling like I hadn't slept at all. Maybe the infection had something to do with it, I dunno. Maybe it was something I ate. Maybe I've just been really stressed and thinking too much about my internships coming up. I worry that I might not pass one test in particular. I mean I LIVE in it, and I've failed like that before. God please, PLEASE. I can't go through that kind of humiliation again, and lose my chance at a good career. I need this. And I don't want to let Aaron down. Or my family, but especially my mother. She is so proud of me, and I don't want to see that look of disappointment in her eyes anymore.

I'm gonna try to sleep, and hope I don't wake up with a purple inner left thigh.

<3

up too late

I've been nauseous all day, and my neck is stiff. I have an appointment Friday. I'm up studying late again, because I have a ridiculous amount of home work already, and I haven't even been to my first Thursday class this semester yet. I knew this term would suck. lol



I was thinking about decorating the Christmas lights like this guy on the right.




haha I wouldn't have anyone to point to though, since none of my neighbors go even the tiniest bit overboard. Maybe we should! We haven't even gotten any of it out of the attic yet.
Oh, but I want to!

Now playing on JennyRadio:
Just listen, don't pay attention to the video. It's a beautiful song.

AAAHHH!!!

I was so frustrated just a minute ago that I sent an email to the feedback section of ABC's website.

"Every time I watch any video that has the Target Ad running in the background, the video is extremely choppy visually and completely unwatchable. Any other ad does not cause this problem, only the Target Ad with the unnecessarily smug lady covered in wiggly little intractable red bubbles. I wait for her to strut her sassy self off screen, and then I try to watch the video again, only to eventually close it in frustration because it makes my head hurt to watch! Please make Target fix it!"

I will wipe this machine completely clean again before Ill spend another minute reinstalling and reconfiguring to figure out WHY it wont do what I WANT it to do and WHY it does WHATEVER it feels like. haha OK I vented. I feel better now. I don't know enough. Something else I need to learn.

I started MED 160 tonight. This class is called Medical Law and Ethics, and is taught by a very nice lady named Yolanda Davis. I thought right away that she is a boisterous and over the top, but in a good way. I hope there's no offense when I say she reminds me of a reverend's wife, or someone from the deep south like my home state of Mississippi. Dramatic words but no nonsense, and she'd give you the skin off of her back if you needed it. Listening to her talk is serious because of the subject matter, but she even said at one point that with a class like this, where there is ALOT of talking and little visual stimulus, you must learn to be creative and captivate you audience. I think she does a fantastic job. This class is shaping up to be exactly what I hoped it would be.

Im off tomorrow!!! YAY!!! I've been away for a few days because of my health. I'm sure I didn't mention it, but recently I had to go to the hospital for a cyst that burst in my uterus. I don't recommend the experience. I've never felt pain like that before. The only thing I have to compare to that was when I almost lost my right eye. This was so much worse because it was such a sharp pain and so overwhelming that all I could do was throw up and hope that I passed out soon. It literally made me want to crawl out of my skin. It was absolutely horrible. Haley knows what I'm talking about. Being a woman can really suck sometimes. I got an antibiotic, and they sent me home. Once the pain stops there's not much they can do for you. It burst and now your body just has to process out the toxins released by it. Oh, but not MY body. MY body decided to hang on to some of that disgusting toxin and store it up in my leg. It became absessed and had to repeat the terrible visit, but this time the pain was in my leg and I didn't go into the emergency room. They want too much money!!! This infection BS is starting to get to me. For one, MONEY!!! That's all I'm saying! Secondly, it runs you down. Physically, no matter how much sleep I get it never feels like enough. Even when I'm in a really good mood, I just don't have much energy to do anything. Things are getting better though. I'm mending nicely, and I should be going to a general practitioner sometime this week.

Now playing on JennyRadio:

I can't find the complete lyrics for this song anywhere, but I swear he says Beale Street!

I would never vote for him, but...

We watched the Memphis Mayoral Debate last night, and honestly my curiosity got the better of me when considering Prince Mongo. My first knowledge and/or contact with him, was when Haley and I were teens - just juniors in high school. We went to one of his clubs, The Castle, and he was there greeting people at the door with cosmic love and hugs. Haley told me that Mongo used to babysit her father as a child, and that the older generations of their families knew each other well. Haley's brother was with us, and he made the introductions. Spirit Dylan, and Spirit Haley, and Spirit Jenny - that's what Mongo called us. He gave many hugs and talked about how warm and happy he was to see us, and then off he went to get us all alcoholic drinks.

Prince Mongo has been a long standing insult to people who take Memphis politics seriously. The local news channels had many comments from people last night after the debate, but the one that stuck with me was Wendy Thomas, who said that Mongo "was a joke" and that it was hard to keep from laughing at him while asking him questions. I can understand that, he can be a ridiculous person who's ideas are far reaching to someone who lives in the middle of the political stew pot like Wendy. And he LOOKS like a crazy person. He really did have one leg painted pink and the other purple, NO shoes, and of course his typical silly getup...


Yes, that is a rubber chicken. And space goggles. Did I mention he is the ambassador of the planet of Zambodia and claims to be 333 years old?

But seriously, who dresses like this and is smart enough to keep himself out of legal trouble? Not just casually, I mean this guy knows the law. He understands where the general line is, in private or public, and even on television. He knows just how far to step over that line. He understands how to push the right buttons of people, to say just enough crazy things and just enough smart things to keep people wondering. Just go look him up, you'll see what I mean.

He was in the past smart enough to have many businesses, but due to his abhorrence for authority, the fact that he served minors in his clubs, and a general disregard for proper business practices, he has lost the ones in Memphis that were popular with young crowds.


So it makes me wonder, DOES he do all of this on purpose? I mean I always assumed that he was either bat shit crazy, or he really enjoys fucking with people, because he's rich and he can. BUT I WANT TO KNOW. I wish I could just sit with him for a while and hang out, talk to him, find out what motivates him to be who he is, away from the cameras. I'm just curious about people like that.


He has run for many offices, and lost. But he doesn't give up. (Whats with the heads?)


Its not like I want to be best buddies with this guy, I think being close to someone like him could be dangerous. But again I'm intrigued by instability. I went online to try and find a recently updated web page for him, but couldn't. Even his public myspace page was last updated over a year ago. Whatever he is doing, he's not putting it on the web. Now I did happen to run into the one thing I don't like about Mongo. Very few people outside of the places where he has homes (Memphis, Virginia, and Southern Florida) know who the hell he even is. So that of course leads to this:



It drives me crazy to see them making Memphis a joke. But it cant be helped when the law allows for a candidate to need only 25 signatures and $100 to be on the ballot. Mongo can more than afford that anyways. But I had to notice, he might have talked too long past the cut times for each answer, but Mongo was calm and sat quietly during other debaters comments. He didnt yell out at Mr Carpenter about city bonds, he didnt lose his cool when they laughed at him. And as he plays that part, he quickly sheds it to become at least something like the shrew businessman that probably made him millions. Since no one knows where Mongo's wealth really comes from, it makes it even more mysterious.

Want to see Mongo before all of the crazy clothes? I found this too.



Ive been sick as a dog this week, so I thought Id take some time off from housework and resting to say my part about current events. (I can't vote btw, my permanent address is in Tipton County) School starts back on the 31st so Ill be busy as all hell. Hope everyone is well!

/blow nose

Well, the faucet has stopped running out of my nose, and now it is completely clogged. But my first class was great and oh lord bajeesus its alot to remember. Medical Terminology is gonna be awsome! AND tomorrow is body systems and transport! AAAAAnd Im a little more worried about that one. haha This is a complex machine, this body! Ive been trying to supply it with lots of Vitamin C and fluids so I dont feel like I got hit by a truck. lol

I have to sleep, I studied a while but I didnt want to drive myself nutty so I watched some tv to wind down, and Im flat out exhausted.