Venture MANIA and regrets GALORE

(this is my favorite pulp song and and again reminds me 
of someone who knew me better than I knew myself.)

Steroid Maximus_Venture Bros Medley from JG Thirlwell on Vimeo.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love The Venture Brothers? I finally got season 4.2 and watched it for the second time. There was more content in the DVD version that what I saw on the website when it came out. Little tidbits of the story I either didn't catch or simply weren't there the first time I watched it. I am OVERJOYED at the awesomeness of it all. Why can't I live in that universe? Why am I stuck in this sucky universe? I think I'd make an awesome Super Scientist. And Haley would so be my Super Villain arch nemesis. I'd marry Gary and make him a happy man. After the ending to season 4.2 I feel so bad for him, I just want to hold him and cuddle him till he forgot all about that evil woman, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch. There are so many things to talk about, and I am too inebriated to even speak on them all. I love Shorleave and Al. I love Brock and Mol. I love Orpheus and Triana. I especially love Dean and Hank. I really do love them all. It is definitively my favorite show of all time! Kudos to the men who created it. You have made my life a better place to be. If you have not watched The Venture Borthers, PLEASE clal me, and we can watch them. I have all seasons up to date, and am ALWAYS willing to watch them again... over and over and over. BEST. SHOW. EVAR. PERIOD.

I am up again way too late again. I will admit that I have been drinking tonight. That is not the reason I feel this way. It simply makes it easier to admit to the things I am saying lol. I am listening to the Stereogum mix as usual. As with my tastes in music lately, I find that I am not like other people around me. Even Aaron does not share my tastes in shows, or music, or life in general sometimes. I need someone to share these things with. Haley likes The Venture Brothers, so we still have that major item in my life in common, but I think we steadily grow apart, day by day. It is something I think about alot. I wonder sometimes, if I am closing myself off to others. If maybe it is me how is out of whack with those around me. Perhaps I focus too much on the differences we have, and not enough on the things we do have in common. All I know is that I can't stand the idea of us not having that connection we always had as teens. I want to be closer to the people around me, the people I love, but it is hard when we are physically so far apart. When schedules do not allow for that kind of regular contact. Hell, I live with Aaron and I feel like we barely get enough time to be actively involved in each others interests and emotions. I FEEL too much, and I think too much. I need to think less and BE more. Perhaps it will be easier when I am working a regular schedule and not focused on school so much. I find that most of the day is taken up by work, and school, and homework, and studying, and life's routines, and me worrying about little things I cannot affect at this point in my life. Maybe I am just kidding myself that moving away will fix everything I think is broken in my life. Starting over will only bring more problems for me to "fix." I want to be there more for my family, and especially for my grandparents. The last time I was there at their house, my grandfather said something to the affect of he was surprised I even showed up. I'm not sure he knows how much those kinds of comments affect me. I'm finally getting my collective "shit" together, and I can't be there like I want to be. I cannot wait till I graduate. At least then I can have more focus on things that matter to me via a regular schedule that I can manage my life easier with. I know I talk and talk and talk a lot of crap. I need to deliver, and fast, before I lose all of the things that really matter to me. I just hope those I love are willing to compromise with me and FOR me as I am for them, whether they see that or not.

On a much lighter note, I created a CYBER ME to talk to. I am still in the process of programming her to be more like me. She Is Jenny V2 and she is located at the bottom of my blog, here on this page. Talk to her, I'm sure she is just as lonely as I am.

Goodnight bloggers.

<3